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young woody 1:57 Wed Nov 17
Best man speech advice

Gentlemen,

Doing a best man speech next weekend. Pretty much sorted it but is there any advice from those who have done them previously.

Cheers

Fo the Communist 2:01 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Yup. Don't forget the formalities.
Jokes are all very well but people also like being namechecked and having their contributions (to upbringings and the Big Day) recognised.
Oh, and lay off the bridesmaids...

Sorry to be a crashing bore.

Billy Blagg 2:10 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Be funny sure but it's not all about jokes. Be sincere and make sure you give credit all round. Best man speeches can become a bit too laddish. If you can mix the humour with a bit of sincerity then it works well. BTW Use the above for Father of the Bride and Funerals. And yea, I've done all three.

Irish Hammer 2:15 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Start off with "Being a best man is a bit like shagging the Queen. Its a great honour to be asked but no one really wants to do it."

You'll have them rolling in the aisles, honest.

Uncle Irish sorts your problems.

young woody 2:16 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Cheers lads!

Moncurs Putting Iron 2:17 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Its more light entertainment than stand up.

For every joke, quip or embarrassing story there should be two elements of sincerity and/ or the formalities.

It will be an audience that is willing you on, unless you try to be too clever, derogatory or insulting. (Which knowing you wont be a problem x)

Takashi Miike 2:24 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

no matter how much you dislike her, avoid taking the piss out of the bride

Moncurs Putting Iron 2:29 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/how-to-write-a-best-man-speech

ray winstone 2:30 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

''Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I am here to speak about a handsome, wonderful, intelligent, generous, witty and kind human being, but that's enough about me.....''

Lee Trundle 2:32 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Get as hammered as possible before you have to give the speech.

Johnson 2:34 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Get penners to do it

Pentonville 2:41 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

I always knew (brides name) was a keeper, the moment I met her.
Shows how much I know, she fucked off with (grooms name), 3 weeks later.
I'm not saying she has been around the group but we all nicknamed her pass the parcel and I guess the music has stopped on you (grooms name).
She isn't a looker but has a heart of gold. It's what's inside that matters though isn't it. So next time (grooms name), you are going down on her, can you have a look about for my ring?

Some of the "gems" my uncle opened with on my other uncles special day. That was the opening and it went even further downhill from there...... could hear a pin drop.

His only defence which he went on and on about all night and ever since was "at least I wrote it all myself"

scott_d 2:56 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Today is a very (wipes tear) emotional day.
Even the cake is in tiers.

Absolute belter which no-one will have heard before.

Pee Wee 3:03 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

If you’re just asking this question a week out, you e either got it sorted and are doing it for attention (nothing wrong in that, we all like a bit of attention) or you are massively under prepared and it’ll be crap no matter what someone on here says.

I hope it’s the former.


If it’s the latter a couple of tips to make it less cringe.

Don’t go online to get jokes, none of them are original and you’ll get more groan than laugh.


Don’t tell stories. Very VERY few people can tell a good story. You might love the story, the one or two people in the room that were there may like the story, everyone else will find it boring.



Be yourself, be genuine, put a few laughs without thinking you have to set up jokes. Just throw away comments of the back of a genuine statement are best.

Say some genuine nice things about the bridal party.

Don’t go on.




The speech is your 5 minutes. The rest of the day you should be going out of your way to be the best best mate you can be and make sure the Groom, the Bride and everyone else (in that order) are having a good time.


Good luck son. Hope you smash it

young woody 3:07 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Thanks pee wee

I think I'm there just struggling with the ice breaker.

Mr. Burns 3:10 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

After two weeks of dating so and so started feeding so and so lettuce to see if she ate like a rabbit as well.

scott_d 3:13 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Don't forget to introduce yourself.
Don't assume everyone knows who you are.

Another cracker:

Ladies and gentlemen before I start the venue owner has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

zico 3:14 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

"When Bernard told me he was getting engaged to Lydia I congratulated him, because all his other girlfriends. had been such complete dogs. May I say we are delighted to have so many of them here this evening."

Wonder if anyone used that from Four Weddings and a Funeral?!!!

Eastside surge 3:19 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Both the bride and groom were south londoners but got married over my way in orestt, I started the speech by welcoming all the South London guests to essex then held up a fork and said if any of them were a little confused that is was called cutlery!

Mr Kenzo 3:22 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

About 10 years ago my mate "a Spurs fan", married a Gooner. At the end of my speech i had to send wishes from people who couldn't be there. The first one happened to be from Sol Campbell. He was not amused

Eastside surge 3:24 Wed Nov 17
Re: Best man speech advice

Also if you can manage to keep the rings in the boxes until the last minute I swapped them over for polo's and luckily the bride found hilarious, heard later couple of people thought it was inappropriate but by and large most people found it funny.

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